shivering.....waiting to be FROZEN SOLID

shivering.....waiting to be FROZEN SOLID

YAK

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(melt my ice)

long time no see [26 May 2007|06:51pm]

[ mood | excited ]

"Play for the name on the front of the uniform, not the name on the back"

I have a job in the 'Burg this summer; I leave June 15 for Fitchburg and will be working at FSC

IM me at AIM sn CloudyCount if you want to get together; Sarah has claimed me for 2 weekends at least, meg and nichole for at least one, and cory for one; I don't think anyone else actually knows, so I'm getting it out there; I'll be there until the end of July and have WEEKENDS ONLY FREE; I have a 24/5 job so only some weekends am I free

call me up if you are lucky enough to know my number, or go ahead and IM me

(melt my ice)

ten sheets of paper [27 Oct 2006|04:32pm]

[ mood | chipper ]

"believing we can improve schooling with more tests is like believing you can make yourself taller by measuring your height"

=)

I wrote a paper about you; my teacher loved it; said she liked when I said "i hope you're lonely"- I'm having a great life and you're still working for minimum wage

I love that I have survived and that you are dying; maybe if you grow up I'll consider saying "hi"

(melt my ice)

go outback [16 Sep 2006|09:19pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

"Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk"

had a dream about you a few nights ago..you were so nervous around me, and wanted to tell me something, but you couldn't do it..you were too afraid...

just like the coward you really are

(melt my ice)

you were driving! [09 Aug 2006|08:29pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

"everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me"

leaving guam tomorrow, the 10th; been here 3 months, went to the philippines, it's been awesome

nigel is coming to colorado on the 18...god I can't wait!!! it's been way too long since I've seen him and been in his arms

I'm so happy my parents agreed to our plan; for those who don't know, he's coming to colorado for 5 days, then we're both going to virginia, then we're driving up to school together

I'M SO EXCITED this has been a great and memorable summer; I've done so much; next summer, a job..can't wait =)

(1 black puddle | melt my ice)

whoo baby [31 Jul 2006|12:17pm]

just got back from the philippines!!! had a blast it was awesome

got tons of pictures; still in guam now, leaving for colorado in 10 days, nigel will be coming to CO in 18

this has been an awesome summer; can't wait to get back to college though!!!

(melt my ice)

yummy mangoes [14 Jun 2006|03:38am]

[ mood | chipper ]

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%

Stability |||||| 23%

Orderliness |||||||||| 33%

Accommodation |||||| 23%

Interdependence |||||| 23%

Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70%

Mystical |||| 16%

Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63%

Religious || 10%

Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56%

Materialism |||||||||| 36%

Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 70%

Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70%

Work ethic |||||||||| 36%

Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%

Conflict seeking |||||| 23%

Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||| 76%

Romantic |||||||||||| 50%

Avoidant |||||||||| 36%

Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 63%

Wealth |||||||||| 36%

Dependency |||| 16%

Change averse |||||| 30%

Cautiousness |||||| 23%

Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%

Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%

Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 64%

Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%

Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 76%

Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63%

Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%

Female cliche || 10%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

(1 black puddle | melt my ice)

fluff my pillows!!! [11 Mar 2006|10:19am]

[ mood | cold ]

"it’s practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry"

I had a dream about penguins a few days ago; L

spring break sucked; I missed my friends and my lover and I hate being around my mom

so I have no life for the next 3 weeks or so because of the play; I'll have to spend my breaks doing hw cuz rehearsals are almost every night; I'm missing a rehearsal because of class on wednesday night, and I don't even have sundays anymore

poor nig..I'm going to be cranky and tired and busy...I'm going to come home, shower and crash...I feel so bad

I hope he understands

*sigh* but he doesn't understand why we have to put so much time and work into this...it's a production; I knew going in it wasn't going to be an hour a week of work; we have over 200 lighting cues and we haven't done tech yet; it's a very long play and it's really hard cuz we're all at least 12 characters; but it means a lot to me - I mean, I gave up softball for this! I wish he would be glad for me and support me instead of criticizing it all the time...

(2 black puddles | melt my ice)

without speaking [10 Jan 2006|08:59pm]

You know you're a 90's kid if...

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You've worn skorts and felt stylish

You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten
You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.

You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

" Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS JUMP OVER! THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE"
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stumbed he's toe oe oe and thats the end end end of the elephants show ow ow

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip It

You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc! .)

Yikes pencils and erasers were the shit.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

You know the Macarena by heart.. LOL

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain would finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

REPOST IF YOU'RE A 90S KID!!!!

(melt my ice)

*laughs* what was that?! [07 Jan 2006|12:00am]

"there is nothing more satisfying as having someone take a shot at you and miss"

I am floating

(1 black puddle | melt my ice)

mm so good! [20 Dec 2005|07:16pm]

[ mood | good ]

"‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have flossed with the anal hairs of an African Silverback Gorilla"

I know I never post in here anymore; I rarely check it, too

but it's easier to just use my LJ (piratemirror) because more of my friends have that so I'm not checking a million journals you know? I'll still keep this one, as apparently less people know it, so for once the journals have switched duties; this was my known, public one vs. my LJ, which was my hidden, only allowed by who I decided was worthy. now it's vice versa. but whatever.

la la; if you want to know my life, IM me or call me or I guess check my LJ but even then it's like once a week if I remember...I'm a different person now. I don't post unless I feel I have something to say.

peace out, dawg

(melt my ice)

I've never actually watched it [13 Dec 2005|01:44pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

"there is a blue hair on my boob" -kelly

gel-
do you remember that thing I talked to you about like forever ago? yeah that one; welcome to my eyes and see you in your dreams

I normally accept the fact that I'm a hypocrite when it comes to judging people but that's only because well because I'm an idiot; I judge everyone and everything and

and yeah I have a bellybutton

Lyma Bean I'll call you...I think

(2 black puddles | melt my ice)

ooooh you suck [20 Nov 2005|05:01pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

"he looks like someone who would date that" - jerry

it's hard to believe the words "I love you" when you know that they could easily be applied to someone else and you were just lucky to have gotten that person first......

(1 black puddle | melt my ice)

the steady whir of a broken fan... [16 Nov 2005|03:09pm]

[ mood | stressed ]

[ music | shhh mindy is sleeping ]

"in spite of all evidence to the contrary, the universe if composed of only two basic substances: magic, and bullshit"

one of these days, I'll be able to write from my heart, rather than my head

but until then...

I love my eyes; and they've finally picked a color; yes, this means no more color changing fun-ness, but I want you to look in them and tell me they're "so-so"; they're perfect...now if only I had you know what

but because I'm not a good writer, I am unable to translate what my heart thinks; since I'm not good at languages, I can't even tell how I feel most of the time; instead, as you may have noticed, I let my heart guide my eyes to what it wants to see - and when I look into yours, my heart just melts and can't speak.....you are my perfection, and I am in complete awe of you....hopefully you can see that

I'm not good at saying what I feel; but if you read my eyes, it's all there, and it's all for you

(2 black puddles | melt my ice)

*silence...* [09 Nov 2005|03:04pm]

[ mood | nervous ]

[ music | alkaline trio ]

"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies"

there was a thunderstorm, complete with a downpour, lightning and thunder crashes; and I was stuck in the bio lab snapping the ribs of my cat, pickle, and tracing his arteries through his heart to his legs....we also had many conversations (me and the people at my lab table and the teach and a few others, not me and Pickle), such as me being addicted to kissing, then why I call him my "boy" and not my boyfriend (I was complaining that I love thunderstorms and I wished I was with him, in his arms, reading a book), for some reason Jade was threatening to throw "kitty bits" (those would be pieces of dissected cat that could be thrown away, e.g. fat, muscle, skin, tissue, etc), and then Roger and someone else talking about the golden girls and then we got onto the subject of Rap and Lisa (the prof) kept calling him "50 cents" and it was just really funny

then on the balcony, we got to talking about barbies (I don't know why) and how they should have "trailer trash barbie - comes with a case of beer and a black eye!" and breast cancer barbie who only comes with one boob and we were discussing why pregnant barbie got recalled (cuz she didn't have a wedding ring on...how stupid is that)

if you have actually been reading through those ramblings, you may have noticed what I left out; i.e., the events of last night. that's because I have no thoughts on them that should be disclosed at the current time...I know some of what is going through your mind, maybe most maybe all I'm not sure, but I don't know what's going through your heart, and it's not fair to "him" that I ask or know at all; you are my friend, and a better one than you may think; you are beautiful to me, and I dread the day when your eyes close themselves off to me, when I look in them and they are staring through me....but what will come, will come, and I need to learn to not second guess myself so much, to not dwell on "what ifs", to listen to the past and learn from it but to always look forward

you learn from your mistakes after one situation, but that exact same one will never arise again; there is always a fear of messing up because every minute into the future, every second that goes by, is unfamiliar territory - "you never step twice in the same river"

so yeah that's what I have to say for now....

(2 black puddles | melt my ice)

every minute [03 Nov 2005|08:41pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

[ music | bayside ]

"the rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food"

I WISH I COULD MAKE HER SEE WHAT THE HELL SHE IS GIVING UP!!!!!

argggggggg

(melt my ice)

you know I be [02 Nov 2005|04:31pm]

[ mood | sick ]

[ music | eve 6 -- here's to the night ]

"he made me think differently....besides, his smile made my tummy warm"

I hold my breath
at the sound of every step
and goosebumps spill onto my skin
but I'm warmer than I've ever been

I can't even write without trembling -
the thought of your lips has my heart stumbling
the memory of your eyes staring deeply into mine
has me wondering if I should take your quickened heart as a sign

a sign that this is real
that you're allowing yourself to finally feel
the flutter in your heart from the butterflies
that dance when I'm with you at night

imagine you and me
lying together and listening
to this song.. with one question and no more:
when will I be yours???

(5 black puddles | melt my ice)

in one day! [31 Oct 2005|04:57pm]

[ mood | guilty ]

[ music | alkaline trio ]

"there are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls"

it feels like I closed my eyes, spun around, and chose where I landed....but it's as if he cheated; metal to magnet, opposites attract, I'm an electron, he's a proton, etc etc

but I left someone in the cold....I try to throw this person blankets and such as often as I can, but I understand that nothing melts the snow better than the warmth of another person....and while I'm standing in front of a cozy fire, you are freezing in the water....I want to invite you in, I want to let you in so bad, but there's only room enough for two...and the fire follows me around; me and only me

but please trust me; I'm always watching you; you will not perish alone; if I see you sway, succumbing to the pull of gravity, I will catch you...I will catch you

but remember what happened to the boy who cried wolf...if you fall simply to test me, to feel me touch you even one more time....then it will be the last time....I need to know you're there, in the dark, watching out for me, but not trying to freeze my tears so that there is always something for you to take satisfaction in...let the fire burn them away, and just know that they were for you

(melt my ice)

ah I don't want to date you! -Jena LL funny [25 Oct 2005|08:22pm]

[ mood | chipper ]

[ music | brian Mcknight: back to one ]

"I have never quite understood the question “is the glass half empty or half full?” what’s the difference? Eventually it will end up empty, thrown away, and alone"

eating, waiting for the most gorgeous guy in the world (wink) to get out of karate so I can sex him up

renee just gave me a piece of her zucchini bread: OMG orgasmic really sooooo good; speaking of nee, we're going to make t-shirts! so as soon as I'm done with this, away I go!!

I think chris is mad; well, maybe not mad mad, but upset or at least holds a grudge, even if he says he doesn't

so yeah....the "most gorgeous guy" is just...well nevermind; you'll find out eventually; I can't keep my eyes off him though, cuz MM MMMM MMMMMMM delicious! and he's got that look; like cory's, except his eyes are softer than cor's so it's not as piercing; but it's like he's actually looking at me and into me, rather than just through me or enough to get in my pants

anyway...I wish I could just cut off my ankle!! give me a new one so I can go running or something!!!! argggg

(melt my ice)

do you know...? [22 Oct 2005|01:52am]

[ mood | numb ]

[ music | fg ]

"when you're hurt, the only person who can truly heal you is the person that nearly killed you"

mindy's drunk, so of course I'm calming down in mike and chris's room.....

..chris knows about mom; I don't regret telling him, either; I trust him more than anything....

I did finally tell nigel about my OCD..during our long 2 hr walk/talk...things are still so confusing....I made a decision...changed it..made another one....and am hoping..god am I hoping....that it wasn't the wrong one

I'm not saying it's the right one, but I don't think there really was a right one right now....there was safe, mean, or broken

yeah I took broken; I keep expecting him to say he loves me...it's just what I'm used to I guess...I don't know what he thinks, I don't know how he really feels

hell, I don't know how I really feel

I know he's upset...he has a right to be; arg I've thought of practically nothing else so I need to just be...me, I think

if I'm me around both of them, then I may be able to relax and decipher what they really think; cuz when it comes to those two, yes I care; I care what they think and I push for them to like me...normally I'd shrug it off...

quicksand

you steal my breath
and with every smile
with every word
I lose my cool
and show you that this fool
hasn't fallen in a while
but I'm ready
damn I'm ready
cuz your voice stirs the butterflies
and I just can't look away from your eyes
even now I'm losing breath
the hair is rising off my flesh
the slightest brush against your hand
and I'm standing in quicksand

(2 black puddles | melt my ice)

everybody wants to be your friend [19 Oct 2005|07:44pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

[ music | forgotten rebels ]

"I like when a guy makes me feel like a woman and a little girl at the same time"

it just so happens I was thinking along these line when I got this email, so why not?

When a girl is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,She is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at u with eyes full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,She is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered.

When a girl says I love you, She means it.

When a girl says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than
that.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah so anyway....I guess it's good that I just can't sit on my ass...L; gots to get my hw done so I can go weight lifting in an hour; peace out dawgs

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